This was the first piece of my music I put up on the site back in Spring, 2017. That was a tough time. I remember slaving over this one, an axe to grind. Even still, it needs some more polish…but I haven’t been back to it since. Because it was a grind. A regurgitation, emotionally and creatively; like being knot-throat-thoughtful and impetuously kicking a trashcan over at the same time. When I had the project done, or all done but the mastering, I was different. Less disoriented. A little stronger. A half-inch taller. On my legs. I could feel it. And that was enough; it was the stair I needed. Consequently, that’s where I left it…
Simply because there’ve been other stairs.
But I do recall the sharp edges in my heart at that time, and I can hear it in my own composition even now…going on 3 years later. In it, there’s a static spark of real experience that gooses the hairs on the nape of my neck. A torrent of memories: stutter-swift, sharp and snickering into shadow. A brier and bramble; all the goat-headed stuff I was trying to get the hell out of. This song is literally what it sounded like as I fought my way to some higher ground in the half-light and fog of a beat-to-shit heart. It’s regretful. But it’s angsty.
And it’s not a masterpiece. It’s not particularly great, for that matter. It’s just a piece of music. But it is a piece of me.
And, if I’m to believe myself lately, having grown far beyond even the momentary speed-bump that produced this song, then that’s worth sharing. Again.
MORE ORIGINAL MUSIC on WINDSTREWN:
Crackerjackin’: https://windstrewn.com/2017/08/05/crackerjackin/
On Jovian Clouds: https://windstrewn.com/2018/04/09/on-jovian-clouds-2/
Tetelestai: https://windstrewn.com/2017/05/23/tetelestai-final/
Kibo’s Dream: https://windstrewn.com/2019/01/03/kibos-dream/
Letting Go: https://windstrewn.com/2018/10/17/letting-go-final-edit/
Lake Ransom: https://windstrewn.com/2018/04/24/lake-ransom/
The Drive: https://windstrewn.com/2017/07/15/the-drive-2/
Snakeden: https://windstrewn.com/2017/03/08/snakeden/
Previous Post:
Poetry: Shapes In The Clouds
https://windstrewn.com/2019/09/26/shapes-in-the-clouds/
WINDSTREWN 
Wow, this is such a beautiful piece!
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We are our own harshest critics, aren’t we? You write despairingly about this melody, and yet I find it to be poignant.
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Thank you, L…and please forgive me for taking so long in affirming your comment. Sometimes, I feel like McConaughey in Interstellar: a minute to me is like a year to everybody else. And I can lose some serious minutes in my life…
The piano work for this one started out as a much ‘quieter’ project. At its heart, you’re right, there is a significant thread of bittersweet sentimentality. It’s something I chose to keep; that piano progression runs the entire length of the track, even as it becomes more and more over-layered by the other elements I ultimately brought into the song. The idea was to have this sweet, precious, meaningful, somewhat fragile thing become shaken, distracted, burdened. Hence, the play-on-words title.
The bottom-line is that I’m a sap, Larisa. And you busted me hiding in the middle of my own song. Thank you so much for spending some of your precious time here…
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Reading this brought a smile to my face. Thank you! You’re the first one on WordPress to call me “L,” that is something that my close friends call me and I thought that was cute. You’re most welcome and the gratitude is returned.
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This is too funny in one of those quirky, unexplainable ways. I instinctively wanted to call you ‘L’ from the moment I discovered you and decided to comment, but I resisted. I typically don’t give up on my gut feelings; rather, I’ve learned to trust them over the years, in many cases more than I would trust an off-setting wisdom. Still, I kept thinking it could irritate or offend you…the last thing I’d want, truly. Through my mind’s eye, I could just see you tossing your hair over your shoulder with a snap-of-wrist and glower: ‘Who does this punk think he is?’ or ‘Hmmm, the worst boyfriend I ever had called me L…and he’s got dentures now because I played peewee softball when I was a kid.’ Lol. I’m relieved my arrogant choice to rename you found you with a smile rather than a furrowed brow and death stare. And…I’m also relieved to find that I can still trust my heart. Thank you, L, for your warmth and kindness…not lost on me, ‘tis a promise.
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Laughing! I don’t think I’ve ever punched anyone in my life! My ex used to call me “L Boogey” and I hated it, so you’re safe 😉 Another one is “L Money” and that one is tolerable 😅
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How about L-evator? Or L-igator? L-bow? Lol…
Or umber-L-a, L-a, L-a, eh, eh…
If you’re smiling, I win.
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Omg 😅🤦🏻♀️
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